should i?

today i think i heard the worst news of my life. it is the last thing i wanted to hear. the thing is it wasnt from the direct person but the other thing is i cant bring it up because i promised i wouldnt and im sure he'd lie because he has in the past. im confised on weather or not i should just ask him but im sure he'd lie so whats the point? should i just shake this off? i dont know what to do i have so many emotions im just mostly destroyed :/ i mean i have made some mistakes too... idk :/ fuuuhk i guess i should just grow a pair and ask him. i have no idea what to do

out of

touch, are the words I can explain today. I feel as if im loosing friends, im pushing people away. I get annoyed so easily. I just don't understand. I don't seem to want to talk to anyone. I have a weird feeling in my body. I have a lot of bad things in my life and I just don't care nothing seems to bother me. im just blank towards everything.. I don't know what's wrong with me... maybe I just need to be alone, some time to myself?